2018-07-22 To Ten
From Transformers: Lost and Found
(Created page with "Ten, I appreciate you coming forward and taking action like this. I've known you to be painfully reserved, so I'm certain this was difficult for you. Admittedly, I hadn't kno...")
Latest revision as of 19:03, 22 July 2018
I appreciate you coming forward and taking action like this. I've known you to be painfully reserved, so I'm certain this was difficult for you. Admittedly, I hadn't known the degree of passion you had for your work. And me. I knew you were dedicated, which I admired. It was useful. But it's clear it was detrimental to your well-being, and I'm glad you're taking the steps to make matters easier, even if it means I'm losing my trusty assistant. I know what it is to be obsessed, and the dark spiral it can lead to.
You'll always be a friend, and regardless of what you may think, you've always exceeded my expectations in subordinates.
I know I should probably do this in person, but with what I see you going through (albeit I do not know what) I think it best this happen in writing. Apologies for adding onto your plate of stressors, but this might be a good thing to you. It was something that seemed bound to happen eventually, but I did not think myself to ever go through with this. Here I am though.
Briefly, I am resigning, effective immediately.
As for the comprehensive explanation, I suggest you keep a coffee with you.
Fifteen senators, two nobles, a Decepticon Commander, an Autobot Captain, a Disc Jockey, a Decepticon Monoformer with a thumb in hand, and briefly a piebald minibot-turned-cassette is everyone I have worked under aside from you. Out of the twenty-three, you were the only one I ever worked to please the most. When you first hired me, I thought you needed me to be an object, like those before you had done. I did as instructed, to be useful to you as per usual with those before. Then you told me something I had not heard in 2.8 million years:
That changed me. I never worked harder to appease anyone, because for once, I did something worth praise. From then on I spent hours, days, weeks, research and perfecting whatever assignment given. Perish the thought of ever returning to you without any results. Even then, I still climbed higher by practicing combat and using what skills I had to infiltrate, should the request be given. I learned to hack far better than when you originally took me in. All for every nod and every ‘thank you’ which meant more to me than you realize. For once, I meant something to someone.
I never wanted to let you down.
I know I did when I disappeared on the mission to bring in Tormentor of Tyrest. While you know of the brief report on the situation, I dearly wish you to know that I did try to return him to you. Admittedly, I was more capable to handle the situation than as a hacker that you thought me of. I truly wanted to make you proud of me for succeeding in the mission. However, Tormentor was an interrogator and in time he knew I worked for you and saw my desperation for another ‘Good job’ from you. I am embarrassed to say, he saw that I was obsessed for you.
After ages of zero acknowledgments to my work or my existence, any little bit of praise given I would latch onto desperately. Then drive through whatever obstacle lay in my way, by any means necessary, for a ‘thank you.’
[[Tormentor pointed out many things in myself I refused to acknowledge. He was excellent at seeing others and through them. If the mission had been completed, you would have found yourself with an incredibly capable mech beyond his abilities. You might have even liked him.]]
He made me realize that I needed you far more than you needed me. I brushed it off, but when I got closer to him, I agreed. When he passed away, I tried reminding myself of those words, that you might not need me as much as I did you. That maybe by then you had forgotten me and my mission, therefore I would not have to report to you. I would not have to admit I failed.
We both know that did eventually happen.
However, you still required of me and I threw aside my Conjunx Endura’s words. Over the course of the three hundred and fifty-nine days, I have come to terms that it is true. It is not that you did not need me, it is that I wanted you to need me more. In the recent reading of the Lost Light Insider, I stood by you over someone else. I do not regret the choice, but rather reflect on it to realize I did desire you. It was all in the hopes for a task, a thank you, anything to acknowledge the fact that I was not an object.
I think it time such needs be laid to rest, for you and me.
Over the nearly full year you have been on board the Lost Light, you have changed drastically for the better, for you. I think it my turn to say I am proud of who you are and what you have become. It was an honor working under you, and it still is wonderful to have you on board the Lost Light. I hope to see you around as a crew member, and perhaps one day, as a friend.
It has been a pleasure,
Fmr. Lt. Ten of Iacon